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Questioner

The previous Hoid stories, Yumi and Tress; based on his word choice… I know they’re, like, translations. Based on his previous word choices, we kind of assumed he was telling these stories to a Rosharan.

Brandon Sanderson

Yeah. Well, Each of those two books are told to different audiences.

Questioner

How does Hoid know the word December? Who is he talking to?

Brandon Sanderson

I use Grandpa Tolkien’s philosophy on this. Did you know that Sam’s name isn’t Sam? What is Sam’s name, Hilgo? I can’t remember. But for an English-speaking audience, Tolkien translated his name, because he said in their language, Sam’s name was something like a common name from ancient religious lore that’s been shortened into a cute nickname like Sam is. You can go read about this; that’s not his actual name.

I think there is definitely an argument for fantasy authors to try to not kick people out; but at the same time, there is madness in trying to say, “Well, I can’t use this word, because…” The one that I bring up: you usually wouldn’t use the word ottoman, because it comes from the Ottoman Empire; but at the same time, it’s been genericized to be an ottoman. There are so many words in English that, if you actually go to the history, and be like, “Well, this was named for a person. This word that we use. Does that mean we can’t use that word in fantasy?” I think in that direction lies madness.

So the way that we deal with it, that Tolkien said (and I read this essay by him years and years ago, before I even became a professional author, and I said, that’s the way I’m gonna do it), is that Brandon Sanderson is presenting this to you in translation. And I want you to understand; whenever anyone in that world hears December’s name, they don’t hear a normal name that you’re used to. They hear the name of a month. And they’re like, “Well that’s odd, that she’s named after a month.” They don’t hear that, like… When you hear Sanderson, you probably say, “Oh, that’s a name.” You don’t hear, “Oh, that came from Alexander’s Son.” Because it’s just become a name that we hear. But they stop when they hear her name. Because of that, I want to put it in translation into English in a way where you read it, you’re reminded of her heritage, and that her mother gave her this unique name, and she’s named after the day of the month, and kind of evoking that early first few paragraphs.

That’s how I approach doing this. And it’s been my philosophy since the beginning. And that’s why there’s, you know, homicidal hat trick in Mistborn 3. In all of Wit’s stories, one of the things that I’ve done is, he’s doing lots of interesting puns. Those would have to be completely different puns in their language. You just kind of have to put this filter over the top, where you’re like, “Brandon is presenting it to me so I have a certain feeling. When he names something allomancy or feruchemy, or things like this...” Greek and Latin don’t exist on Scadrial. Why do we have these Greek and Latin origin of names? Well, they have their own linguistic systems that evoke the same feeling.

To go otherwise, I think, lies madness. I know this is kind of a blanket “Brandon can do whatever he wants.” That’s why I do it! But I did know that December is name, in particular, like… There was some discussion; do I change it? And sometimes, when you’re a writer, you’re just like, my artistic intent… I love that name. That’s who she is. And I had that name from sentence one. I’m not gonna change that; it’s too intrinsic to the soul of the piece of art. I do understand that there are some that that kicks out, and I totally understand that. That’s not an invalid complaint. But do understand that this is how I approach all of the writing.

That doesn’t mean I won’t try to not kick you out when I can. I do know that switching from courting to dating bothered some people in Stormlight Five, and they’re right. If I could go back, I would change that one. Because there’s no real reason to use one or the other, except one does evoke just a little bit more of that classical feel. There definitely are valid complaints, and things I would change if it gets highlighted.

Questioner

We’ve seen savantism applied to allomancers and soulcasters. I was wondering if we can maybe see that in the future with surgebinders, or if that’s being prevented by the Nahel bond.

Brandon Sanderson

It is possible, but there are guiderails in place, like you’re saying, to prevent it from going too far. So, while it’s possible, you’re unlikely to see it, but that comes with the asterisk of ‘it depends on if I decide the story needs it,” so I can go back on that. I’m gonna say unlikely, right now.

Questioner

We meet some characters that can see the future. And I couldn’t figure if they are just doing math, or if there’s some Spiritual Realm shenanigans going on, so I was wondering if you could tell us.

Brandon Sanderson

Do you want to ask me specifics? If you pick out a character, I could tell you a little bit more.

Questioner

The greater Shards. What are they doing when they’re able to see the future?

Brandon Sanderson

It is more Spiritual Realm shenanigans. There is some mathematics; there is some probability. They are very good with large datasets that are unavailable to the mortal brain. So there is some of that. But they don’t really have to do that, because they can go, and those large datasets will be manifest in the Spiritual Realm, as well. Some are better at it than others; this is partially Vessel, partially Shard, and partially situational.

Questioner

There’s a line, kind of feels like a throwaway line that Wit makes in Wind and Truth, and I don’t know if I’m way off base here. But he’s Spiritual Realm Wit, made of Investiture, and he jokes about this being how the Iriali feel all the time. The Iriali also have this religion where they believe they are one being having various *inaudible.* Are the Iriali beings of Investiture? Are they, like, avatars of a Shard?

Brandon Sanderson

They are human beings. If you test them genetically, any test you could do on them would find them indistinguishable from other human beings, save that they have some of the weirdness that goes in the cosmere, the way hair manifests and things like that. But you would be like, “These are people.” What they’re saying that they are is religious and philosophical.

Now, they might have some interesting Investiture from where their origins were that also can maybe lend a little credence to them. But only in a sort of philosophical and religious way, where they can say, “Here is evidence of what we say.” Where an arcanist would be like, “This is no more than the fact that Rosharans have some native Investiture themselves that prevents them from getting tooth decay, and things like that.” The common cold was a plague that eventually just died out on Roshar because the people are strongly Invested enough that they’ve got this force keeping them healthy. The Iriali have something like that; an arcanist would be like, “Yeah, this is not proof that you’re…” And they’re like, “It’s okay. You are actually also part of the one, so your perspective is also valid.”

Questioner

At the very end [of the Emperor’s Soul], the Ashravan construct, the simulacrum that’s been made, is convincing. Is it a real boy?

Brandon Sanderson

So, by cosmere terms, what has happened here is that it is a new individual who has the memories that Shai has put into his head. She has actually constructed something that is using some of the matter and stuff behind (it can access some of the matter). Is it a real boy? It is a construct that has enough Investiture to be self-aware. So it is a person, I would say yes.

Is it a real boy? Is Syl a real girl? If you say yes to Syl being a real girl, then yes, it’s a real boy. It’s definitely a person, does that make sense? But is it actually him? No. Not by basically anyone’s definitions. If you go to the religious definitions, they’re gonna be like, “No, that soul passed on.” If you go to the arcanist definitions, they’re gonna be like, “This isn’t quite a Cognitive Shadow, but it’s something analogous to it.” You’ve taken some Investiture that’s become self-aware and can access the memories, ‘cause it’s got… It can actually access memories that she didn’t put in there, because it has access to the brain, that was still functional. But see, it gets a little sticky here. She basically made them a better version, but it also has autonomy. It is a person.

Questioner

The whole Kharbranth incident in Wind and Truth, the whole moving Kharbranth to the Spiritual Realm. Is that really functional? Or is it more of just a comfort for Taravangian?

Brandon Sanderson

I’m actually gonna RAFO you on this. But let’s point something out; I don’t know if this has passed around in the fandom. Let me talk about that moment, because I stealth consider that one of the most important moments in the whole series. Because what’s going on here is, the conflict between Dalinar and Taravangian is not actually the conflict either of them think it was. The conflict was what they both did afterwards, right after that conflict, and which philosophies they are espousing by the actions that happen directly after their conflict. And I think, stealth, that moment and another moment are the most important things, at least for their arcs. So whether that’s real or just a comfort, I’ll leave that RAFO for now. If it’s real, it is a very, very, very dangerous thing he has done.

Questioner

As we’ve seen in Bands of Mourning, kandra can create flesh grafts to heal wounds. Could kandra in medical fields use their abilities to fix major life-threatening events, such as cancer, missing limbs, or organ transplants?

Brandon Sanderson

Yes, I think this is within the realm of possibility with them. It’s not very scalable, but it is possible.

Questioner

In Yumi, Hoid describes the Shroud as, effectively, soul tar. And we’re also told that the Identities of the souls that make up that soul tar evaporated, and aren’t intact in the Shroud. We’re also told that the nightmares are pulled out of the Shroud and are actually the same original souls; Hoid explicitly says this. So does that mean a sufficiently Invested entity can perform resurrection given access to the original Investiture of the soul?

Brandon Sanderson

Yeah, I think this is a throughline that you can follow. You’ve gotta have someone’s Investiture that hasn’t been reclaimed into the Beyond. If it’s sitting around persisting, it is possible to sort through that and turn that into a Cognitive Shadow. I mean, we see that essentially happen at the end of that book.

Questioner

Hoid’s motives have always kind of been unclear. I was wondering with this new book [The Fires of December], will we get any more perspective into what his true goals really are?

Brandon Sanderson

This book will give you a perspective on one of his goals, kind of in the short term. You kind of already know what it is, but you will reinforce that one. I’ll just leave it there; you’ll be able to hopefully pick out some of the things that are going on, where this is happening in the timeline.

But the problem with these Hoid stories is there are two timelines. There are when he’s telling it, and when it happened. When he’s telling it is pretty far in the future; it’s post-Yumi, so they are in order, the three of them, in order of when he told them. They are not in the order of when they occurred, when they happened to him. So you’ll have to pick out those two different timelines. And you should be able to pick out one of his goals. Again, it’s not gonna be a huge surprise, but it’ll flesh some things out.

Questioner

When Dalinar gave up Honor to Odium, he observes that a part of Honor flees on its own accord to go off somewhere. Does this have to do with the new Oathpact, or Kaladin becoming a Herald? Or is this some other shenanigans that Honor is up to?

Brandon Sanderson

RAFO!

Questioner

When people start thinking about distances in the Cognitive Realm, how long does it take for that to actually be reflected in the subastral? Given the fact that sufficiently many people presumably with a sufficiently enough Investiture behind them could increase distances in the Cognitive Realm, is it already or will it become standard tactics to strand opposing fleets in the subastral by just having a lot of people think really hard about them?

Brandon Sanderson

Good question. It takes longer than that. I don’t think it can be used strategically. Definitely can’t be used tactically. Strategically, it would take years, maybe decades, for it to have an influence. Perhaps there are certain strategic values to this. But organizing all the people and things like that… let’s just say that it’s not a thing that is within the realm of practical application.

Questioner

We’ve seen Adolin show a lot of characteristics like whimsy, and we’ve seen him even display some of Odium, and we’ve seen Honor in him. Do you think he has all the traits that it takes to pick back Adonalsium?

Brandon Sanderson

I think that is beyond the scope of basically any mortal. He’s not a terrible choice, but I would have to end up saying no. I think it is beyond the scope of what he could achieve.

Questioner

Which Shard would run the most successful convention? And which would burn it down within the first hour?

Brandon Sanderson

You’re gonna think this is odd, but it’s gonna be Autonomy. Autonomy is very good at setting up structures, having people follow them. To have a successful convention, you would think you’d want one of the fun Shards. But to run the convention, you probably don’t. The fun Shards would give you a DashCon. And Autonomy’s… like, there may be some rigid rules, but… We have (I’m included in this) a certain perception of Autonomy that is not unjustified, but let’s just say that there are a lot of people in the cosmere who really appreciate Autonomy’s ability to make structures and keep things going. The trains run on time with Autonomy.

Who’s most likely to burn it down? Ruin? Yeah, okay. You don’t want a convention started by Ruin. We’ll go with Ruin. Whimsy? See, Whimsy’s not quite as… No, Whimsy is pretty wacky. You don’t know enough about Whimsy yet, though. Ruin, definitely worse.

Use the Falchion

Wind and Truth’s postlude set up Kaladin and the Heralds’ return to Roshar for the back half of Stormlight. Once this happens, there are bound to be instances of conflation between Kaladin and Jezrien. As this happens over time, will Kaladin take up more of Jezrien’s traits as Kaladin’s Cognitive Shadow is influenced by Jezrien’s impact?

Brandon Sanderson

Wow, what a great question. That’s an excellent question. The answer is yes, this could definitely happen. Now, it depends how aware people become of Kaladin as the replacement. But there is going to be pressure upon Kaladin to… All the Heralds are aware of this. The way that people perceive them sometimes influences them, particular when they’re in the Spiritual Realm. When they’ve got a body back, they’re influenced much less powerfully. There’s this stabilizing force to them. And they’re aware of it, but yes, that was definitely a… I wouldn’t call it a danger, but that’s an aspect of Kaladin’s life, now.

Questioner

Going to Emberdark, we saw the Investiture-based weapon that the Scadrians used. Is Investiture behaving like light, as it has photons or something similar? It has a speed limit?

Brandon Sanderson

The weird thing about Investiture is… Like how light sometimes acts as a particle or a wave, right? There is a third state for Investiture. It is sometimes being a particle; it is sometimes being a wave. There are third states. And when we get into the scientific age, we’ll talk about this.

Most uses of Investiture do follow the speed of light. For instance, spanreeds are bound by the speed of light. But some don’t. For instance, seons are not bound by the speed of light for communication, ansible-style. Right now, for instance, Elsecalling is bound by the speed of light. When you see the portal in Wind and Truth, you’ll notice there was a border to the portal, so there was a little bit of a tunnel. That would have gotten longer and longer, depending on how far they were going, to the point that it could last years, if you’re traveling lightyears. Now, there are ways around this, but you have to be doing it in specific ways with specific states of Investiture, and things like that.

You should assume that Investiture is often acting like a matter (when you’re seeing it) that is radiating a certain type of energy that is acting like light. So it’s state number three, which is an actual physical thing that generally looks like a liquid, radiating particles that are acting like photons, which could be either particle or wave depending on… yeah.

Questioner

If Investiture, like you said before, doesn’t go away, what happens if something loaded with Investiture falls into a black hole?

Brandon Sanderson

We don’t even really what happens in our world if you fall in a black hole. But my expectation would be depending on the state of that Investiture. If it’s in its matter state, it could be trapped there just like matter could be. But when Investiture radiates, it’s sending these particles off, and you can see them as light but they’re eventually fading into the Spiritual Realm, they’re not continuing as photons forever. Investiture radiates back into the Spiritual Realm; sometimes you’ll see it turning into mist before it vanishes. And that is vanishing back into third plane, sort of thing. All Investiture is eventually trying to get back there if it’s in those states, if it’s not turned fully into matter, something like that.

Even black holes can radiate, right? We now know that they do. I would assume that it’s gonna be slowly radiating out into the Spiritual Realm.

Questioner

My question is about the Bondsmiths. They can Connect people and share languages; does that also apply to reading? And if so, could Navani Connect the men so they could read?

Brandon Sanderson

Yes, this is theoretically possible. Though the act of learning to read, I think, is good for you. But I think it is possible that that could happen. It’s not gonna be as natural and easy; it would be more natural if you already knew how to read, and they would give you… But I think that this could work.

Questioner

So we might see that in the future?

Brandon Sanderson

You could see it in the future. Yeah, you could see it.

Questioner

My question is what the role of the kandra will be once they get off of the world of Scadrial? Will they be, maybe, with the Night Brigade? Or spies, mercenaries? Because they have that shapeshifting ability that could let them replace other characters, potentially.

Brandon Sanderson

This depends. If it’s before… There’s a certain event that will happen (it’s not gonna happen on screen, I’m sorry; it happens in the intervening years) where Sazed just basically lets the kandra go. They’re released from their contracts. If it’s before, they should be doing what Sazed says. They don’t all; but they should be doing. After, he’s just like, “You need to live your lives and be your own people.” Then they get to decide. Some (and I would say the majority) continue doing what they had been doing. There’s a lot of momentum behind just living a life, and things like that. Others might do as you say, go out and be mercenaries. Some might just explore the cosmere. Others might just go and be weirdos, like Ulaam. It just depends on the individual.

Questioner

At the end of Wind and Truth, Roshar in the Physical Realm is in a time bubble. Does that then pierce or extend to the Cognitive Realm and the Spiritual Realm? And then will that then, in turn, affect Kaladin and Shallan in their respective journeys?

Brandon Sanderson

It does hit the Cognitive Realm, and not the Spiritual Realm. Spiritual Realm is outside of kind of normal time and space sort of things. Imagine this like being close to a singularity. It’s not a true time bubble, because it doesn’t have a strict border, an edge. It’s gonna fade out, the further you get along (if you were able to do it in space) in space, but in the subastral. The idea is, the further you get, the less time distortion there will be. A big old, essentially a singularity that is just warming time-space around. Not gonna affect the Spiritual Realm. So you should expect that a lot more time will have passed on… well, the Spiritual Realm, weird things could happen. They could come back, and a hundred years has passed. They could come back, and ten minutes has passed. So you’ll have to see what I end up doing with that.

You should expect that Kaladin’s experience and Shallan’s experiences will have diverged in time-wise.

Questioner

In Secret History, we see Kelsier grappling with the idea of his own sanity. How much can we trust the story he’s telling of what happened at the Pits?

Brandon Sanderson

You’re talking about the original story, with Mare? That is mostly trustworthy. Not 100%, but mostly. Yes, it was a dark time; it was a tough time. But you shouldn’t consider Kelsier a fully untrustworthy narrator. He’s slightly more untrustworthy than some people; but it’s not fully untrustworthy, like somebody who is having full-on delusions, and things. Kelsier sees the world in a certain way, and that’s gonna influence the way he presents things. But I’d say he’s, like, 85% trustworthy as a narrator. More than you would probably expect. He considers himself a pretty honest-with-himself person, so when he’s narrating (particularly when we’re in a third person viewpoint), you’re gonna get a pretty straight viewpoint. Now, if he’s first person narrating to you, it depends on the context and the situation. And that can go anywhere from 0% trustworthy to 60%-ish.

Questioner

What would happen if a chromium compounder were to come in contact with a Shardblade? Like, touch it?

Brandon Sanderson

Well, touching a Shardblade is never a good idea. What do you think would happen?

Questioner

I’m unsure if it would drain the spren entirely, like how Nightblood does, or it would revert the spren back to spren form.

Brandon Sanderson

I think that the Shardblade, you’re gonna have trouble getting much out of the Shardblade, that’s what I think.

Now, compounding is gonna… boy, this is a tricky one. I think that this is really dangerous to try and could be devastating to everyone involved.

Questioner

Do you have a list of real world bird-to-aviar equivalents and the powers they would bestow? More specifically, what powers would an Invested white-bellied caique bestow?

Brandon Sanderson

White-bellied caiques are insane little agents of destruction. And they are super cute. Caiques are one of those ones you don’t want to own; you want your friends to own. I think they’re gonna give some sort of energy. You’re gonna be able to stay up later; you’re gonna have to sleep less. It’s gonna be, like, magical ADHD powers.

I don’t have a list, but I do know my birds, so there’s where I’m gonna go with that.

Questioner

At the end of Secret History, Kelsier went to Spook specifically to tell him that they needed to find him a way back into the Physical Realm. Does that make Spook the original Ghostblood, or at least one of the people who made the Ghostbloods?

Brandon Sanderson

Yeah, you could make that argument, definitely. I like that argument. Now, let’s point out that Kelsier went to him for a couple reasons. Number one: Spook is easy to manipulate. (Or at least, Kelsier assumed he would be. Spook had learned a lot in the time since Kelsier passed away, so he wasn’t as easy to manipulate as Kelsier thought.) And also, Spook had some experience with Hemalurgy that were really relevant to what Kelsier wanted to do. But yeah, you could call him the first recruited Ghostblood. I mean, Kelsier is the first one, but he’s the first recruit.

Questioner

Do the Shards themselves create the Intent? Or is it influenced by perception?

Brandon Sanderson

There’s a bit of both. The Shard has an innate Intent, but it is filtered through the perception of the Vessel. And the Vessel influences it. But the Shard’s also influencing the Vessel, right? So there’s this tug, and this push and pull, and things like that. So it’s a little bit of both. The stronger side is gonna be the innate Intent of the Shard.

Questioner

If Adolin and Kaladin were to fight – no powers, no special weapons, just sword and spear – who would win?

Brandon Sanderson

We’re gonna talk this through. You said “sword and spear.” If you watch historical HEMA, sword versus spear, spear has a distinct advantage. Just that reach and length. The reason that people use swords is they’re just easier to carry around as a side weapon and as a backup weapon, and you can also use a shield. Now, spear, you can use a shield with, as well; but the sword and shield allows you certain advantages. But just sword against spear? Kaladin has a distinct advantage.

Now, Adolin is a fantastic duelist. He is really, really good at it. And if you put sword against sword, he would win. But if you’re letting Kaladin have a spear, I do think Kaladin would win most of the time. But, again, if you watch HEMA, it’s not a matter of who would win. If they do ten bouts, how may does one win, versus the other? And if you go watch – they’ve got lots of cool recreations of this on YouTube that I’ll watch. And I would say you’re gonna end up with Kaladin six, Adolin four, out of ten, if you’re giving Kaladin a spear.

Spear is unfair advantage in a duel; let’s just point that out.

Questioner

In Rhythm of War and Wind and Truth, we see Ishar is bringing spren into the Physical Realm; and in biology, one of the signs of life is having cells. So I was wondering: do spren have cells? And what kind of cells? And would that mean that they are animals?

Brandon Sanderson

With Ishar’s specific experiments, what he’s trying to do is bring them and build them physical bodies out of cells (they would be animals by that), and basically build host bodies for them. And he’s got several models; what happens with Hoid is actually one of them, getting Investiture to grow something that matches them. He has not figured it out, as you can see. What he wants is possible, but he is not capable of it, let’s just say that. So yes. The answer to both is yes.

Questioner

Cognitive Shadows are… maybe not immortal, but fundamentally very very long lived and hard to kill.

Brandon Sanderson

Sometimes people use the term ‘functional immortality,’ meaning a lot of them, they don’t age. But they can die in other ways; you can destroy the Investiture. (Well, it can’t be destroyed, but you can disperse it or various things.)

Questioner

Is Hoid a Cognitive Shadow?

Brandon Sanderson

Hoid does not consider himself a Cognitive Shadow. He says he is not. There are those who would disagree with him; however, there are some unique aspects to Hoid, because the body regrows, and these various things. He would claim that he is not a Cognitive Shadow and has never ended up becoming one, that there’s continuity of his body, even though it’s being recreated sometimes directly out of Investiture. He would actually lump himself in a different category. (So would Vasher.) But there are some who would think that he is a Cognitive Shadow. Vasher wouldn’t say that he’s a normal person; he’s looking at some of the Dawnshard stuff, and there’s a category for them.

Questioner

We saw in Book Five that Dalinar gave up the Shard. Is it possible that Adonalsium also relinquished his Shards, instead of dying?

Brandon Sanderson

This is a possible theory; I won’t spoil this theory. You’re gonna have to RAFO on that one.

Questioner

The Ghostbloods’ main goal is to protect Scadrial. Did that ever change when Retribution was created?

Brandon Sanderson

I will say they are aware of the creation of Retribution, and there are definitely some measures they are taking. But I would say you should expect “Scadrial first” to kind of be the focus for the Ghostbloods, even still. There may be some dissensions and disagreements about that internally, though.

Zaqwer (paraphrased)

How much control do Shards have over where their perpendicularity manifests?

Karen Ahlstrom (paraphrased)

Quite a lot of control. If you're thinking of Wind and Truth, then it was put there for a reason. He hid it on purpose.

BanishedDemoness (paraphrased)

If a dragon was raised on Roshar with Singers or on a planet with Sho Del, would Perception make their human form be more like a Singer or a Sho Del respectively?

Karen Ahlstrom (paraphrased)

No, its a genetic thing. However, if a returned was with Sho Del they would likely end up as a really good looking Sho Del.

Questioner

Tell me what the demon Deathrise that lived inside of Lifeforce and then later Page is and how it was created?

Brandon Sanderson

This is kind of based off of more... The demon is an actual Epic that was a person that was transformed by the events of the arrival of Calamity. They gained the power to start possessing people. The demon is a person.

Questioner

Kaladin describes his first squadleader Tukks as always looking slightly odd, or something's off about his appearance. Which sounds very similar to the description of Sleepless in the novella Dawnshard. Is Tukks a Sleepless? If he is, is he one we've seen before? Can we get a name drop?

Brandon Sanderson

RAFO. But that "he looks a little different" is there for a purpose.

Questioner

If all the good boys and girls on Roshar believe in Santa Claus, what would the resulting spren be like? How intelligent would it be, what would it look like, and how would it manifest?

Brandon Sanderson

You are asking, actually it sounds silly, but a really good question. Because this kind of digs into the nature of the cosmere. A couple things you have to keep in mind. Once something like this starts to become self-aware in the cosmere, it gains volition. And so, if everyone believed in the same Santa Claus, it would start to manifest a spren that is gonna act like Santa Claus. But that acting exactly like Santa Claus is not gonna last terribly long by the scale of spren. It might last for a couple generations of humans, but that thing is gonna become self aware, it's gonna see itself, and it's gonna take some of the mandates that it is given by the people thinking about as part of its creation and its mandates to exist, but it's gonna decide how to interpret them. So you're gonna end up with a Santa Claus that is a little more spren-like. Since it's on Roshar, it's gonna have some Honor and some Cultivation to it, and imagine that as its genetics. And imagine how people perceive it as its nurture. So its nature and its nurture. And then it has its own volition; we don't talk about that as much. And those three things are going to create something that's not exactly like you're imagining, but it will have those roots.

Questioner

In the Edgedancer novella, we learn about ten different flavors of pancakes in Yeddaw. Are each of them associated with an Order of Knight Radiant? And if so, what are those flavors, and will they eventually come into a cosmere cookbook?

Brandon Sanderson

I'm not gonna list them all off for you. But if we do a cosmere cookbook, we will put them all in, I promise.

I actually don't think they're all associated with an Order of Radiant. I think that ten is just a number of mythological import. Oftentimes, when we're writing, we'll try to look for rules of three, or we'll try to get things to a dozen. On Roshar, they try to get things to five or ten. It just feels natural to them; it feels odd if there's nine of something.

Questioner

In the Mistborn magic system, being an Allomancer is hereditary. If two identical twins were born to nobleman parents and they were Mistings, would one of them be able to have powers and the other couldn't? Or would they both have to have powers? Or, if they were both Mistings, could they have different Misting powers?

Brandon Sanderson

Most likely occurrence is that they would have different Misting powers. Because while it is hereditary, remember, in the cosmere you have both what we call a spiritual DNA, your Connections and things on the Spiritual Realm, and physical. They're gonna be close enough that it would be really, really rare that both wouldn't have powers. It would be most common that they'd have different powers, but not too infrequent they'd have the same one.

Questioner

I was just wondering if it was possible to make Hoid feel awkward or uncomfortable. And if so, what makes him uncomfortable?

Brandon Sanderson

Have you seen that scene where Shallan hugged him? He wasn't expecting a hug at that point. He gets into his mindset of how things are gonna go. He's a showman; he has in his head, he's like, "This is how it's gonna play out." And whenever someone breaks that a little bit, he can always be a little embarrassed. I mean you [the questioner cosplaying as Tress] are from a book where he was thoroughly embarrassed the moment he realized that his sense of taste was not working and functioning as well as it should be. So, not terribly hard to actually embarrass him. Basically, if things don't go the way that he plans them to, he will play it off and pretend it was planned that way all along. But inside, he'll be deeply embarrassed.

Questioner

As we see with atium alloys, they kind of punt the power off to other people.

Brandon Sanderson

Yes.

Questioner

Like with electrium atium, you see other peoples' futures instead of your own.

Brandon Sanderson

Yes.

Questioner

With harmonium, 'cause it's an alloy of the two god metals, would that allow you to punt the power of Mistborn to another person? Or, because it's a mix of atium and lerasium, would that make you a full Feruchemist?

Brandon Sanderson

It would blow you up. But, if you were somehow able to make it work, you get a RAFO card.

I can give you something, though. I sat down and, in order to write Era Three, I wrote this giant document that explains exactly how ettmetal works, and all the intricacies of it, and the medallions and things, and I sent it to the Arcanists. These are some people that I have on staff; basically, they were the hardcore superfans who understood the magic system the best. So I recruited them and put them to work. They spent all summer poking holes in the document, so I can make sure all of my t's are crossed, my i's are dotted, and my atium is ingested. I am now going back; I just started back into Era Three with this document in hand of all the things that I need to make sure that I make very clear.

Questioner

If a kandra were to eat a dragon, would they be able to do the inherent dragon shapeshift?

Brandon Sanderson

No, they would not. Kandra taking someone's form doesn't let them have access to most of the things that they would be able to do. For instance, you eat an Allomancer, you don't end up with Allomancy. And in the same way, there is something going on with the dragons that wouldn't allow this.

Borja (paraphrased)

Have we met Hoid's wife, who is named during Isles of the Emberdark, before that book?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

It's a possibility. I want you to theorize about it.

Josep (paraphrased)

Peter (Ahlstrom) said a few weeks ago on Reddit that you had recently mentioned that Hoid did indeed appear in Shadows of Silence. Could that character be Daggon?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

You're theorizing in the right direction, although it's also true that there aren't many other possibilities.

Questioner (paraphrased)

Is Shallan pregnant at the end of WaT?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

*nods*

RoninKamui66 (paraphrased)

Are the redheads who appear at the end of The Lost Metal horneaters?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

Yes, I can confirm that.

RoninKamui66 (paraphrased)

Is the kandra of Roshar human or singer?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

Human

RoninKamui66 (paraphrased)

Did Kelsier kill his wife?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

R.A.F.O.

rprsoy (paraphrased)

If Siri in Warbreaker used dye, would she change her hair color to match her real locks, or would she keep the dye color?

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

She would keep the dye color and not change it

MarcGarcia96986 (paraphrased)

I asked him if he had ever thought that Marasi might have used the power of the Well of Ascension to travel to the future (era 3).

Brandon Sanderson (paraphrased)

(with a mischievous look on his face): That's something that could possibly happen.

Jasonioan

Are shades pulling water from their victims through the same mechanic as the Luhel bond? And are Shades damaged by salt in the same way that Aethers spores are?

Brandon Sanderson

I'm going to say you are theorizing on the correct direction. They are pulling water in a very similar way, but whether salt we'll give you a RAFO card on.

Questioner

What about movies? What about television shows?

Brandon Sanderson

For those who don't know, I made kind of an interesting play with a friend of mine, back in 2018. This is my friend Donald; he was the director and creator of Fortnite. And we figured we'd try to make Mistborn as a film with Fortnite money, meaning Epic Games, whose owner is a pretty cool guy; he's in the tech space... And we pointed out to him, "Hey, Amazon is making movies, and Apple's making movies. Maybe Epic should make movies." And we had, actually, a much better pitch than that; it's more detailed. I can't get into it. But he's like, "Yeah, sure, let's give it a try." And for various reasons, it didn't work out. But we spent, like, five years working on this, making this film. We had casting; we had a lot of things done. And it just didn't end up working out. Again, Tim Sweeney's a pretty cool guy; last year, I'm like, "Hey; it's not gonna work out. Obviously, we're done. Can I have my rights back?" And he's like, "Yeah, sure." So I got my film rights back. I wrote a check; I just paid back what they'd paid me, and I got my film rights back.

So that puts us back to square one. And these squares take a long time to move through. So, we went back to square one, and I went out and I did pitches in May, after kind of putting everything together. And, you know, everybody's really excited. But now I have the very difficult job of: who do I pick? How do we work on it? What are the choices that we make? I still believe in a Mistborn theatrical and a Stormlight premium cable. I could be persuaded to animation if the people making it were persuaded that they could give the budget to animation that it deserves. It's harder to get the money people in Hollywood to write the checks for animation, particularly a series. To get Arcane made, basically Riot had to fund a big part of it.

Anything is open; I'm willing to try anything, though I do still believe in a Mistborn theatrical and a Stormlight premium cable. So that's what we're looking at. I have, really, no news. Other than everyone's enthusiastic. Once you do a Kickstarter for $40 million, everyone in Hollywood says "Ooh!" But at the same time, I want to be very careful.

Brandon Sanderson

This did happen in Stormlight Five. There was a character who was supposed to die, in the original outlines. And I decided they would not make the decision that I had made for them, and indeed they made a different decision. And I can tell you that in a spoiler session at some point.

Brandon Sanderson

You might have noticed, if you've read several of my books, that a while ago I was trying to figure out a good voice for Hoid. And Hoid, as a storyteller for a long-form sort of novel thing, it was a bit of a challenge to figure out what his voice would be and what types of stories he would tell. I tried a bunch of different things. This is the one that went a little too far. And you'll see what I mean when I'm reading it. I wanted the stories that Hoid was telling to actually be canonical to the Cosmere, and him not be exaggerating too much. (He does occasionally.) This one went a little too far. So, we're gonna read this. I don't have a name for this; it's just called "Chapter One: The Princess." And we'll let you see how, if I let Hoid go a little too far, how it might turn out.

I have, like, five chapters of this, but we'll only do three of them.

Brandon Sanderson

Chapter One

On Princess <Celebrin's> thirteenth birthday, her father named a day of the week after her. Though the signs had been clear all along, that day -- her thirteenth birthday -- was probably the first time <Celebrin> should have realized she was spoiled.

Younger children can be forgiven for not picking up on such intricacies, as they are -- naturally -- oblivious, sociopathic, self-interested machines who continue to draw breath only because our species developed oxytocin. But a teen... Well, a teen should have realized the truth. The massive undertaking of renaming a day involved replacing calendars, educating the public, and consoling the clergy. Fortunately, the goddess the day had been named after wasn't a popular one. The king, in a rare moment of wisdom, figured that if the goddess wasn't mad about the whole not-being-worshipped thing, she might not mind this, either.

On Princess <Celebrin's> fourteenth birthday, the king gave her a castle. Never mind that she already had three she'd never visited. This should have clued <Celebrin> to the fact that she was spoiled. But the kingdom did need a great number of castles. The war against the dragons was ongoing, after all.

On her fifteenth birthday, <Celebrin's> father gave her a vault full of gold. This was necessary, you see, as she'd used up the previous one. It is normal, <Celebrin> thought, for a child to have an allowance. And vaults of gold seemed common, really, considering how many her family had.

On her sixteenth birthday, her father gave her the color red. Though this was mostly symbolic, it really should have warned her.

Remarkably, she had a near miss on her seventeenth birthday. You see, the king banned sugar for a day for everyone except for <Celebrin>. So that evening, she sat at her dinner, staring at her lemon meringue pie, and asked the question. "Father," she said, "how does everyone else not having sugar today make my dessert any better?"

"Uh, come again, dear?" he asked, eating his own pie. Because of course, he had his own slice, despite the ban.

"My dessert," she said, pointing with her fork. "Wouldn't it taste just as sweet to me if everyone else could have sugar?" She edged towards understanding like a baby bird on the rim of the nest. Surely, this decree would make people angry. Surely, they were supposed to enjoy her birthday. Didn't she want them to.

"Ah," her father said, pretending to understand. "Mmm, here, see. If they don't have sugar for a day, they'll appreciate it all the more. They'll remember just how sweet it is after a day of fasting, yes they will. Just as they'll remember your sweetness, my dear."

It was an answer. Not a good one, but like a strong gust of wind to frighten the baby bird back into the nest, this worked. <Celebrin>smothered her concerns in meringue and went to bed.

Finally, her eighteenth birthday. Worried about how she'd reacted to her exclusive day of sugar, her father reasoned his gift hadn't been dramatic enough to impress her. So for <Celebrin's>grand eighteen birthday, the king made her name legally unique. Nobody else was allowed to be called <Celebrin>. (The day of the week, though, was fine.)

As one might imagine, her name had become quite a popular choice for girls over the last eighteen years. That changed in a legislative flash, and in an instant some ten thousand girls were forced to change their names. You'd have thought this, at last, would give <Celebrin> herself some inkling, some hint of a clue that she was spoiled. Instead, she reasoned that everyone should have a unique name, and so this legislation made perfect sense. Her parents had come hard to come up with something original, and the name was the only gift <Celebrin> had from her late mother, who had been eaten by a dragon soon after giving birth.

<Celebrin> would likely have missed understanding this birthday, as she had the others, save for one factor. She had a bodyguard, a youth named <Dristol> who had been sent back from the front lines after having his right arm ripped off. He'd recovered and recuperated as best one could, following such an event, and he wore three medals proclaiming how brave he'd been.

<Dristol> didn't feel brave. Losing his arm had made him scream and wet himself, but he confided in his father, a grizzled veteran and head of the princess's bodyguards. The older man had said something legitimately wise.

"You on your feet now, lad?"

"Yes, father."

His father had tapped each medal in turn. "They're for that part. Not for the part where you lost the arm."

<Dristol> had understood. We'll talk about his nightmares, his cold sweats, and his months spent lying awake at night trembling later. For now, let's just say he understood.

<Celebrin's> eighteenth happened roughly two days after his assignment to serve under his father, watching over the princess. The evening of her birthday -- after the glory of the fruit punch synchronized swimming routine, the novelty of the dancing cattle, and a spectacular indoor firework display -- <Celebrin> stood on her balcony with a small complement of twenty bodyguards and around as many handmaidens. She looked up at the moon, shimmering in the sky, and she wondered idly, "Do you think the dancing cattle were better trained last year?"

"No, highness!" said one of the handmaidens, beating the others to it. "They were so spectacular!"

"You sure?" <Celebrin> asked.

"Absolutely," another handmaiden said. "I don't think they made a pyramid last year, did they?"

"That's true," <Celebrin> said. "And I suppose they did taste better this year, too."

That was the moment. <Dristol's> eyes had been bulging all night, but this... this really threw him. Though he'd been instructed to be silent, he couldn't help himself. Perhaps once you've had part of yourself eaten by a large pseudo-reptile, the monarchy seems less intimidating. "Wait," <Dristol> said. "Wait. The beef at dinner. That was from the trained, dancing cattle?"

<Celebrin> glanced at the young man, realizing she didn't recognize him. "Um, yes?"

"They said," he sputtered, "at the beginning of the show that it takes years of dedicated work to train the beasts! You had them slaughtered?"

"Well, of course," <Celebrin> said.

"Why?" he exclaimed, ignoring the guards on either side of him who were hissing for him to be silent. "Why under the Firmament would you do that?"

<Celebrin> wasn't offended so much as she was confused. Nobody had ever spoken to her this way. She cocked her head, trying to understand the young man's state of distress. "Well," she said, "you wouldn't expect me to eat untalented steak, now, would you?"

Untalented. Slowly, <Dristol's> brain processed the words. He took it all in: her legitimate confusion, the night's extravagance. Then, it slipped out. The words that would change a life, and perhaps a nation. "By Endowment above," he whispered, "you're the most spoiled thing I've ever seen."

Several handmaidens gasped. One of the guards straight-on fainted. <Celebrin> merely pursed her lips. Spoiled, she thought. I wonder what that means.

 

Chapter Two

Spoiled. What an odd word, the princess thought as she stood on a balcony right after the word had been spoken. Like 'soiled,' perhaps? No, that was a dreary word. Maybe spoiled meant something like 'oiled." She'd learned about perfume recently in her studies, and those generally started with a fragrant oil as a base. And yet her handmaidens looked so scandalized! Plus, one guard, upon hearing the word, had immediately fainted. Why would a word make someone faint? She cocked her head and looked to him as the other guards caught him and set him down. Then she looked to the man who'd spoken the offending word, and he was now blushing deeply.

Now, over the last few months, the princess had begun to realize that something was off about the way people interacted with her. She couldn't define it, as she had very little to use as a frame of reference. She could only watch others and see how they interacted with one another. She was not socially adept, but she did realize she wanted to know what this word meant.

In order to learn, her gut said she needed to minimize what had just happened. Whenever there was a big fuss, people got extra touchy around her. Therefore, she decided to shift everyone's focus away from the guard who had spoken the word, and instead on the poor one who had fainted.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "He must have locked his knees! You're never supposed to lock your knees. Someone send for the palace surgeon. Then, everything will be okay!" 

They did. And it was.

Such a curious experience. They all seemed relieved by the fuss over the fallen soldier. When the surgeon asked what had happened just before the soldier collapsed, <Celebrin> allowed herself a tiny lie and said she didn't remember, that she'd been staring up in the sky and contemplating her father's great love for his people. The servants had been chatting about something, but she didn't remember what. This made everyone relax further, including -- noticeably -- <Bokul>, the head of her bodyguards.

How to describe <Bokul>? He was a soldier, yes, but you'd expect that of a bodyguard. <Bokul> was... <Bokul> was like a sausage, grilled over a campfire after a long day of work. An expert chef will always make you a finer meal than the campfire sausage. Indeed, if you order a sausage from a good restaurant, it will most certainly be better than one of your home-cooked ones. And yet, nothing tastes better than a sausage grilled at the end of a long hike, made for yourself. Strange how that is. No fine sauces, no utensils, and minimal expertise; yet there's just something special about a good sausage made over a campfire. Likewise, if <Bokul> were to enter a swordsmanship competition, he'd most certainly lose. With only one good eye (but a glorious mustache) and a body slightly past its prime, he'd do fine. He wouldn't wash out, but he would also never win. Yet strangely, if you wanted someone protecting your family, your gut said: pick <Bokul>. There was something about this quiet wall of a man with the ruddy skin, bald head, and leathery complexion. Something that whispered to you that you didn't want the best swordsman: you wanted the best bodyguard. And he was it, contest be damned.

<Bokul> had arrived after the incident, but before the fallen guard was carried away. He studied everyone involved, then dismissed the young guard who had spoken the strange word. <Celebrin> noted the family resemblance, said nothing, but sat up all night thinking.

Spoiled. She'd had extensive lessons in literature, poetry, and philology. How did she not know this word? So, once tonight's handmaiden was snoring, the princess slipped out of bed and went to her library chamber. Her father, of course had spared no expense in outfitting it for her. He had not one dictionary, but six. She chose Ahlstrom's Great Unexpurgated Reference of All Known Words and their Origins, Eighteenth Edition. It had text so small she needed a magnifying glass to read it. There, right between "spoffish" and "spoke" was the word "spoiled." Defined as:

"Adjective. Charming. Comforting. Pretty. Princessely in every way, like Princess <Celebrin>."

Ah, well, that made sense. Except... why was her name in the dictionary? She checked the other five and found similar definitions, though one had a typo. Then, she spend the night pouring through definitions of other words in the latest edition. The word "beautiful" used her as a reference. That made sense, as being pretty was her job. But so did the word "charming," and the word "winsome," and even the word "comely," a term she'd never really liked because she was sure it was hiding something. All in all, she was able to identify thirty-seven places in the dictionary where her name came up, including the one for "spoiled."

She eventually returned to bed, but continued to have trouble sleeping. Something itched at her, like a barely whispered conversation at a party, when she'd been certain her name had been mentioned. She'd wanted to know what nice things people were saying about her when that happened; but when she spoke to them, they seemed to be hiding their emotions. As if they didn't want her to know the true depths of their affection for her.

She was close. To what, she didn't know, but she was determined to find out.

The next day was linguistics practice, where she was taught the languages of various nearby kingdoms so she could charm their dignitaries at parties. She was joined by Professor Candle, a bearded squinty-eyed man who had purportedly come out of the womb carrying a parameter. He conjugated ancient words in the past perfect for fun, and kept a list of homonyms in seventeen languages because he found them amusing. His knack was the ability to see typos in spoken sentences. Yes, you heard that right.

"Professor," <Celebrin> said, rising and greeting him. "I'm glad to see you. You were off for your anniversary last week, is that correct?"

"Indeed, your Highness!" he said, bowing and removing his hat. His mustaches did seem to wave hello as he did so.

"Did you enjoy your new carriage?" she asked.

"My what?"

"Your new carriage. Father gets a new carriage for his anniversary every year. Did you pick gold or white for yours?"

"Umm... White, Highness."

"Excellent taste, Professor," she said. "Quite stunning with black horses. I hope you chose black horses."

"I did..."

She nodded in approval, imagining the professor's beard shaking as he looked out the window of his anniversary carriage while touring the grounds of his estate. How many books the professor must have in his mansion! She'd pressed him once where his mansion was, and he'd just said "far, far away." Which she took to mean out in the countryside, which made sense. She had one out there, though she'd never visited. But she heard it was nice.

They settled into her study room, the third one, which was her favorite. It had birds painted on the trim, and the golden furniture was a little less stiff than the other two. She was attended by her bodyguards, as always, but notably for these lessons, they were required to stay on the other side of the room, out of earshot. That was in case she needed to ask for delicate translations of terms that might reveal state secrets.

She made shared tea with Professor Candle and discussed her progress in the <Galtic> language in advance of diplomatic talks concerning a joint offensive against the dragons. Eventually, at the appropriate time, she eased into the question she really wanted to ask.

"Professor, there's something I want to ask you."

"Their," he said. "There. They're? You used the wrong 'there.' Lovely homonym, that."

"Oh, of course. There... is something I want to ask you."

"Anything, Highness!"

"What does the word 'spoiled' mean?"

She was watching, so she caught as he stopped, tea nearly to his lips. "Well," he said, recovering after just a moment, "why don't we look it up?" He stood and walked to the bookcase.

"I did look it up," she said, pouring him more tea. She liked these lessons, which was one of the times she could pour herself, so she'd have practice not spilling if she ever needed to pour for a dignitary. "The dictionary referenced me, saying the word 'spoiled' is a flattering term, and refers to someone who is like Princess <Celebrin>."

"Ah, well, then," he said, walking back to his chair but not sitting. "Mmm, why do you ask then?"

"What did the word mean before I was born?"

"It likely referenced a different princess, I'd imagine." He was sweating. She put the teapot back, then regarded him uncomfortably shifting from one foot to another. He hadn't even noticed the extraneous comma in her sentence, the one she'd deliberately imagined being there.

"Professor," she said, "did my father redefine a word on my behalf, then ban the original usage?"

The professor emitted a low squeak from the back of his throat, as if he'd swallowed a mouse. Or as if he'd been placed in an extremely uncomfortable situation, and now either had to lie to her face with her knowing it or betray the will of the king.

She smiled and dismissed him, letting him scurry back away without having to say anything further. She sat, cup in hand, thoughtful. Then, at long last, came the moment. The one that should have happened when she was thirteen. The one she just nearly missed realizing some dozen times now.

Princess <Celebrin> wondered if, perhaps, her family went a little too far at times.

It was a little like wondering if the Ice Age was chilly, but it was a start.

 

Chapter Three

The next day, Princess <Celebrin> rose early and had precisely three minutes and twenty-seven seconds to ponder last night's epiphany. Then the day began. A quick meal of three pieces of fruit while dictating letters of comfort to the wives of men at war, each with as much personal touch as she could accomplish. Calisthenics next, with her four private trainers, followed by weights with four different trainers. The exercising took two and a half hours, collectively, with requisite laps in the pool for cardio. You might be angry at her father for requiring this rigorous schedule, but he wasn't to blame. <Celebrin> had spent her childhood in the Hall of Forefathers studying the portraits of princesses who had come before her and had a certain idea of how they should look. Being <Celebrin>, she hadn't considered that the artists might have created the portraits with a certain flair for flattery. So in this, she had an image to chase that wasn't strictly impossible, but might be considered unrealistic if she hadn't somehow exceeded it.

Before this explanation, you might have been imagining her as soft. In this, perhaps, I have painted the wrong pictures, so let me revise. <Celebrin> had the kind of flat stomach and toned muscles that people think is due to genetics. Which, I suppose is true, as the mindset required to relentlessly drive oneself towards peak physical conditioning certain has some kind of genetic component. <Celebrin's> job might have been being beautiful, but she wasn't going to depend on that for lack of effort on her part. Hence, the exercise regimen, where each morning she became a strawberry-blonde tempest of activity. While no person should be forced to live up to such unrealistic expectations, <Celebrin> at least had a reasonably healthy interaction with it. And considering how spoiled in general she was, this was probably one of her more benign misunderstandings.

Excercise was followed by a short bath, and then they next saw to her hair, which required daily brushing and conditioning. Simultaneously, her steward went over the day's appointments. In today's case, she had a state dinner to host, which meant a need for a wardrobe selection. So before lunch, she spent two hours going through options with her royal stylist.

"The <Monique> gown is particularly stunning," the stylist noted as two assistants took out a remarkable red dress and draped it across the couch. "Current trends are toward more daring, Highness, and <Monique> is extremely well regarded."

"Yes," <Celebrin> said, arms folded as she considered. "Check the guest list. Is Lady <Gravida> attending?"

"The younger, or the elder?"

"The younger."

"Let's see... yes, Highness."

"She's engaged to be wed as of last week," <Celebrin> said, "and she loves <Monique> gowns. She'll be in one for certain, and it would be unseemly for me to show her up on such an important time of her life. Let's look for something a little less showy."

"We could go with the <DeMarco>," the stylist said, pointing for assistants to bring out a plain brown gown with ruffles on the wrists.

"<Ashlin>," <Celebrin> said to the stylist. "I said less showy not funeral-ready. Have you lost your senses?"

<Ashlin> grinned. "Well, you know how everyone imitates your fashion choices the week after an event? Imagine the panic as they all try to obtain dresses three decades out of style!"

<Celebrin> looked to her, then gave a hesitant smile, finally picking up on the humor. You'll have to forgive her. <Celebrin> wasn't dense; more, she'd spent her life in a low-density environment, and her brain had adapted. After her revelation the night before, however, she found herself seeing things just slightly different, and she realized she'd always liked <Ashlin>, though she'd never defined why before that moment. Few people ever joked with her; even if she didn't always get the jokes, she could appreciate someone that tried.

"Have you ever considered it," <Ashlin> whispered, "wearing the most ugly thing imaginable just to tie their brains in knots?"

"I couldn't. This is a very serious event. Ambassadors from seven different kingdoms will be attending!" <Celebrin> hesitated, then leaned closer. "But out of curiosity, what is the ugliest thing you have, <Ashlin>?"

<Ashlin> practically glowed as she grabbed a box off of one of her carts. She waved the princess over, then with a great deal of pomp produced the most ridiculous of all hats. It was bright pink, with what appeared to be a mass of bubbles on it made of glass. These surrounded a long pole which had streamers on the end. Ugliness is like beauty: ordinarily, a matter of perspective, but there are some few items that transcend subjectivity. This hat can be considered the ur-example. Too earnest to be a joke; too audacious to be an accident. The product of someone who was simultaneously skilled enough to create, but oblivious enough to create this. It was a masterpiece of mediocrity, and a monument to someone's own hubris. <Ashlin>, being an expert in fashion, naturally collected such offenses to her craft, finding them wonderful. It's an artist thing.

<Celebrin's> breath caught, and for the briefest moment she considered it. She actually considered it. "I couldn't," she said, "but thank you for showing it to me."

<Ashlin> grinned and packed it for her anyway. <Celebrin> soon settled on a blue gown, the color of the Firmament in the sky when the sun was shining. That, mixed with a brilliant sapphire broach, should be just the right amount of ornate without being ostentatious. The right amount of striking, without being scandalous. It's easy to draw attention; drop some glassware in a crowded room, and you'll see. It's difficult to draw attention gracefully. And say what you will of her upbringing; at this, <Celebrin> was an expert.

From there, she picked a wardrobe for her father; he never paid attention, and would just put on whatever was given to him. And coordinated the servants, tablecloths, brocades, and napkins for the dinner. She and her father needed to match without looking too similar, and -- with consideration of the guest list -- she decided the decorations required a certain patriotic flair this time

That done, she ate a sandwich on the go for lunch and arrived at her second reading room for political tutelage for the evening. She went over the entire guest list, making sure she had names memorized, a question to ask each one, and was aware of any tragedies or political nuances.

"Do be certain not to mention kumquats, Highness," the tutor said, sliding his spectacles up his nose.

"Kumquats?"

"Unexpected Deluge upon Lord <Branberry's> orchards. A Category Three, I'm told. It set it raining for three weeks and washed out the entire crop. It's a sore spot for many, and it has disrupted trade. Many in the room have lost money from the kumquat fiasco."

"No kumquats," <Celebrin> said. "Noted."

After two hours of drilling on all the names, faces, and relationships, the tutor left her to study while she got her nails done. However, she found her mind wandering. For the first time of the day, she had the chance to really think about what she'd discovered. Her father had changed the very definition of words on her behalf. If he was willing to do that, what else about life didn't she know? What had been changed or obscured? It was a terrible thing to consider, and with some thought she decided she needed further proof. And so, once her nails were done, she did something truly remarkable.

She put on the hat.

The ugly hat, the masterpiece of mediocrity. Most of her handmaidens hadn't been there when <Ashlin> had laughed at it, so they wouldn't know that it was ridiculous. But they had eyes; surely they could see. She turned to the group of twenty women and girls. "What," she asked of them," do you think of this hat?"

She received a group of blank stares.

"I like it," <Celebrin> added.

"Oh, it's wonderful!"

"Looks like you're floating!"

"So perfect; what a complement to your bubbly nature, Highness!"

By the Goddess of All Gifts, she thought, pasting a smile on her face, it's true. They will tell me anything, so long as they think it's what I want to hear.

She looked to her bodyguard, hoping to see the young man from earlier, the one who had called her spoiled. But he wasn't on duty today, unfortunately, and it would have been strange to ask her bodyguards for advice on clothing, so she put away the hat, troubled.

Further thinking on her state had to be delayed, however, for it was time for another short bath. Then perfume and makeup, the latter of which she applied herself with coaching from her makeup experts. She needed to be able to do touchups on herself, after all, so she couldn't just let them do it. After that, it was styling her hair, which she needed help for. Though she decided on the style, a half-up half-down set of braids with a cascade of hair on the left. As her hair was being done, her dialect coach helped her with pronunciations of foreign words and names so she wouldn't embarrass anyone at dinner. She approved the seating chart, put on her gown and gloves, checked on her father to make sure he wouldn't be too late, then hurried to start receiving guests, arriving thirty minutes early just in case.

Her father arrived forty-five minutes later, wearing formal attire and his bright golden dragonslayer's medal pinned upon his chest. Together, they greeted each guest in turn. I'll spare you all their names but one: second cousin <Bentle>: duke, wine snob, and the man her father had not-so-secretly been wishing <Celebrin> would marry.

Brandon Sanderson

So, the story was going to be, at that dinner the king announcer her cousin, who is loathsome, as the new heir. Because there's a law that only someone who has slain a dragon can inherit the kingdom. And so she decides she needs to go kill a dragon.

Now, why did I not decide to keep writing this? Well, as I told you, it is fun. It matches a lot of the storytelling styles of some things, like, you might have seen in Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede. But it was too silly, too non-canon to fit in the Cosmere. So, maybe I'll take it out of the Cosmere and finish it some day.